WHEN DO WE GROW UP?

A very common question that we are asked as kids or perhaps that we too ask kids is “What do you want to be when you grow up?” As a child, I used to be very happy when I was asked this; it seemed more of a flaunting my wish to be a doctor or a teacher or something else (which changed from time to time of course!). The deeper implications of this question never occurred to me at that time. But now if I think deeply, I just wonder “does growing up stop at an age or rather after attaining a certain degree or getting a particular job do we stop growing up?”

 It took some time to realize that the definition of a grown up is specific to each individual. My house has a very strong wrought iron gate and it almost impossible for me to pull it shut. A 3-year old boy in my family saw me (a 28 year old doctorate) one day, tugging hard at the gate, in a vain but desperate attempt to close it. He came upto me and said “You will be able to do it when you grow up, not now.” I just came to realize that according to this kid’s standards I have not yet become eligible to be termed as “grown up.” So is it our strength or is it our knowledge that categorizes us as a grown up?

I had just finished reading Michelle Obama’s book ‘Becoming’ a couple of weeks back and it was a whole new and an unbelievable experience. The former US First Lady talks very openly about all her apprehensions, wishes and desires. From an ordinary “black” girl of South Side America, she went onto become one of the most powerful women of the world – a role that she did not ask for yet carried it out for 8 long years with grace and dignity, inspiring young people, particularly girls all over the world. And she says she still has to become something more! An important take home message that I have grot from the book is that you are never old or good enough not to learn and absorb something new even if it is a trivial matter.

Growing up, I guess  is a continuous process. Though it is somewhat related to age, one doesn’t stop growing after the attainment of that particular age. Because growing up is directly proportional to learning and learning as we know is a never ending process. Maybe learning academically is finite but I believe, in terms of experiences we learn something new every day, whether it be from our seniors or someone younger to us. How we incorporate the lessons learnt from our day-to-day experiences to make ourselves better human beings is a very important aspect of growing up; thus, we grow up a little every day.

Another very important aspect of growing up is maturity. Though maturity comes with age, there are often situations in one’s life that makes one more mature. Maturity does not really only relate to one’s life instances but also reveal greatly of his or her personality. Of course we all have a child inside us, but there is a huge difference in childlike and being childish; after all no one would want to hear words like “Stop being a baby and grow up”. How we handle situations tactfully and with great discretion and above all, with care and concern show our maturity.

However, a common misconception is to relate growing up and maturity with the ability to smoke, drink and also make out. I may face a lot of criticism when I say that I am against these above mentioned things but what I am trying to do is to draw the attention of the readers to the fact is that growing up comes with a huge baggage of responsibilities (though we are more concerned with the associated perks - bitter truth!). And sadly, we are now in times where everyone is concerned of his/her rights but no one wants to have responsibilities!!

Honestly, I still can’t define a grown precisely and accurately. Maybe that is the beauty of this whole process - you never stop growing! And most importantly what I have observed, if you never hesitate in learning something new (even from your juniors), you never stop enriching yourselves not only with knowledge but with humility too!