WHAT'S COOKING, LADIES?

“Butter chicken done right!”; “The perfect Pav-Bhaji!” – these were the captions, accompanied by the delicious looking dishes, in the watsapp status update of one of my dearest friends, Dr. Apurva, during this ongoing lockdown. Apurva is a dermatologist by profession in the United Kingdom and it won’t be wrong to refer to her as a “friend from heart” because, believe it or not, we haven’t met till date! Coming back to her captions, I asked her how she could manage to make gourmet stuff for herself, when all medical personnel are working round the clock. She replied, very casually, “Do you think I make these stuff for myself? Some friends are coming over.” So this was one incident that stayed at the back of my head but couple of days back, I encountered a similar thing at home, which prompted me to type out (NOT pen down) this piece. Right now, it’s only me and mom at home, along with our caretaker’s family, staying on the floor above us. I have been observing fasts, every Monday and Thursday (whenever possible) for the past 3 years and this ritual has not been affected by the lockdown or the fact that I have come home. So after completing my fast, when mom and I sat for dinner, I was surprised to find 2 fishes in the curry (well! If there is fish curry, we prefer to have it during lunch and not dinner). I asked her for whom was the 2^nd fish (I am having my lunch’s share at dinner!), and she said, “Me! You were not eating, so how do you expect me to have fish alone for lunch?” This immediately prompted me to ask her that what she eats when I am not at home, which is a major part of the year. Smiling, she replied, “Do you think I take such effort to make food when you or your sister is not here? I finish off with a very very simple meal always – no husband, no children with me, so whom do I cook for?”

            These 2 incidents made me to pose a question to myself, “When has it been that me or any women cooked for one? Was there ever such a time?” It made me recall a very iconic scene from the classic movie, Eat Pray Love, starring Julia Roberts, where she hesitates to buy a dress she really wants, thinking “Per chi?(For whom?)” For a woman, her whole life revolves round her parents, then her husband and children, and then, maybe grandchildren, especially when it comes to food. I have never seen my father, giving up his piece of chicken for his daughters (when things were scarce), but something that my mother or maybe any mother in the world would readily do!

            

This is not a piece to compare maternal instinct with the paternal one – NO! I just want to say that why all women can’t pamper or treat themselves as queens or princesses or in the same way they treat their family and friends, with the food they love – food cooked for a lady, by a lady and that lady is herself. How many of us have actually cooked our favorite meal – just for ourselves - purchasing, preparing and putting in all the extra ingredients, hard work, and not to mention, love and care, and then, had a dinner/lunch date with ourselves; dressed ourselves in a fine manner, creating a beautiful ambience and then enjoyed the meal, heartily, savoring every single bite?

A lot of single, working ladies might argue with me on this point that doing something like this may make us feel more lonely and alone. But I just want to point out that even though man is a social animal, we have evolved ourselves over the time – now we are in a stage that no human being, irrespective of the gender, needs someone else to cook for them. Hence, the ladies shouldn’t restrict their culinary skills only for their families or friends – we should learn to relish and appreciate the magic in our hands ourselves! After all, who can be our best critic than our own self?

So, to all my beautiful ladies, I want to say – cook your best meal for yourself and enjoy a day in this lockdown, saying, “Dolce far niente! (The sweet pleasure of doing nothing!)”