THE BATTLES WITHIN

 

How many times has it happened to anyone that you had a raging storm inside you but you had put on your best smile and behaved completely normal? When you felt like screaming out with rage and frustration but all you did was smile and laugh as if it was the best day of your life? Each one of us does this probably on a daily basis – to be at our most composed self as if we have it all sorted. We tend to keep quiet and hide our inner self from our families and dear ones because we don’t wish to hurt them or make them sad and load them with our baggage of problem as they also might be carrying their own – so why put an additional load on them isn’t it? With this stressful and hectic life of today, we always seem to have our hands full at all times – multitasking every moment, putting a work-life balance, managing work and household. Having so many eggs in the basket, we don’t really have the time to vent out and stop because if we pause, we would be left behind in the rat race of this competitive world. So who has time to show emotions, to shed a tear, and share our problems – most importantly, who has the time to actually listen to our problems without any judgement? Wont we then be termed as a “weakling” or “pansy”? And wouln’t anyone then take advantage of our weakness?

            Suppression of emotions and rages regularly tend to cause a buildup inside us – it becomes like a dustbin filled to the brim. So what happens when we try to dump more waste in the brim? It simply overflows and spills the waste everywhere. In the same way, we also have a lot of emotional outbursts and mental breakdowns when we are unable to keep our calm/cool anymore. We transform from this soft-speaking, composed person to a screaming lunatic, who vents out his/ her anger on every single thing around. So is it ok or normal to have this emotional suppression? We don’t need a mental health expert to say that this is not healthy. The mind is not at its optimal self when it is charged with unexpressed emotions. It starts affecting our mental health deleteriously, with negative impacts on our physical self as well. As a result, we start suffering from different problems like mental fatigue, depression, lack of proper sleep, anxiety, besides other ailments. Even our facial features start reflecting that we are not well even though we are working to the best of our capabilities, channelizing our energy, while trying our best to smile and laugh. But is a work done under such conditions worthwhile and are we able to actually savor the fruits of our labor as enthusiastically and happily as we should?

Does anyone remember that World No.1 Naomi Osaka had backed out from a Grand slam tournament because she needed to devote time to her mental health – something she regarded to be more important than winning another Grand slam. Doing something like that requires strength and courage – strength to give importance to oneself and courage to face the backlash from the world around. When a public figure like Naomi makes a “cry for help”, it makes us realize that she is one among us – maybe her inner battles are different than us (of course it will be as we all are unique) but at a point it is necessary or normal to cry like a child, to vent out our inner rage, and fall on our knees. This isn’t a sign of weakness – it is just a way to express one’s softer and emotional side that lies buried inside the thick and impenetrable outer shell with which we all engulf ourselves each day.

It is a sad reality but there are so many among us who have forgotten how to shed a tear – not just in front of people but also in seclusion or even when kneeling in front of our Creator. Not because we are not sad or in need but because we have become accustomed to leading and fighting alone by hiding our pains and afflictions and only portraying our happy and strong selves. With smaller families residing in bigger houses, zoom/ video calls becoming more in vogue whether to have interactions or attending functions (pandemic is also responsible for this!), we have lost our desire to literally talk to someone face-to-face. Nowadays, even when two people go on an outing each remains engrossed in his/ her phone! Also we all have such detailed schedules (packed upto midnight), tiring days and busy nights that we don’t have time to SIMPLY TALK.

Not a mental health guide in any way, but I can tell from my own experience that it is important to speak what we are going through, what problems and challenges we are facing, and we are struggling. Face-to-face communication holds a very important key – it helps to sort out a lot of misunderstandings, confusions, doubts, and worries – something that can reduce stress greatly and calm oneself down. At the same time, being a patient and non-judgmental listener is equally important – after all, whom will we talk to if there is no one to listen?

Not everyone has a family member, friend or partner in the vicinity to talk to and share their problems. In such cases, why not talk to someone professional? There is no shame is accepting that we need help – yes, we are not so progressive as a nation till now to talk about mental health issues normally but things are changing gradually. A professional will always be a person who is very discrete and supportive and who values a client’s secrecy. Of course not everyone may be able to afford professional help and that is why I stress on the importance of having strong ties – not with everyone but at least one – whether it is a parent, sibling, friend or spouse – someone who can answer our dumbest questions and to whom we can confide our darkest secrets. There is no denying that we are all fighting numerous battles – not physically but mentally and emotionally; hence, we need to have an outlet to our emotions so that we don’t suffer every day.

Let us all make an effort in this direction so that we don’t put on a fake smile for our dear ones but smile and laugh heartily from our souls without a burdened mind!