The lost ties of kinship

“Man is a social animal” – something that I had learnt during my Moral Science classes in school. During that time (I am talking about the 1990s), this statement meant that we, as human beings, must dwell as a society; we are, each, the part of one human nation and we must cherish that love and compassion for each other. That was a time when fights were resolved by a handshake or rather a “thumbshake” which we used to call “abba.” Cousins that time were our first friends and such friendship literally meant a single soul residing in two different bodies. And most importantly, we had experienced the strong bond called “Family”. Holidays meant seeing our cousins and having a lot of fun. My sister and our first cousin were called “Pabho Jura” because they were literally inseparable, when together. I still remember that my maternal cousins were more scared of my mother than their own. In short, there was no discrimination between my child and my brother’s child in terms of love, care and scolding too – the child was simply the child of “our” family.

I was watching a very old episode of a show called “Sarabhai vs Sarabhai” on YouTube a couple of days back, which prompted me to write this piece. The characters in the show were celebrating something called “International Family Week” where they had to meet some of their long lost relatives. This show also used to air somewhere around early 2000s. As we fast forward to the current year 2018, I realize that such ties of kinship are no longer prevalent in the society now. Not just among my extended family (well, we are all grown up now and busy with our own lives) but also among the new generations of today. Because of the busy lifestyle and packed schedule of the parents, seeing grandparents and relatives has become more like a yearly ritual, just like the festivals. In some cases I have also observed that kids are not even aware that they have first cousins in the same school! And why is that happening? Isn’t new age technology like smart-phones, instagram and skype supposed to bring us closer to our relatives – I mean, that is how they advertise it right?

Kinship is not something that is “taken for granted.” Any relationship, whether it is by choice or by chance, is like a seed that needs to be nurtured for it to germinate and grow. Even The Gospel says “Blood relatives are closer to you than any other relations!”Probably that is why we used to have social visits in earlier times, which are nowadays, sadly losing their existence. It is the sad reality of today that a person who has 1000 “friends on facebook” and 500 “followers on instagram” has whatsoever, no idea who his cousins are!!

The existence of nuclear families has somehow weakened the family bonds. I know with changing jobs and hectic schedules, nuclear families are something like the “need of the hour.” But then, how do maintain the bonds of relationships and have a “whole family?” Are we really in a stage where we require something like “International Family Week” in reality to rekindle our “lost ties of kinship?”