Ishani's Pen

An innocent heart fell in love With a man, fondling with her like dove Cooing to each other they lived Everything he asked for, she gived! Unaware of his intentions In love she pushed her boundaries Accepting and fulfilling all temptations Forgotten were the barriers of age and countries!! Suddenly dark night fell on her Cz he left her suddenly without a word Betrayed and broken In her nothing  was going to stir!! Years later, she felt love again A love to heal her broken heart She had a past, so did he She just wanted to heal n gain. Alas! The past always haunts back She was impure, he commented Her love her care was real -aloud se lamented Her cries couldn't make him turn back. Didnt he also have a past, she wondered I had accepted everything, why cant he? "Nothing matters, because I love n take you" How hollow those words were - she pondered Only because he is 'a he' and she 'a she'?!!

Once a while in a far away land Lived a handsome clever lad Shortage of fine things he had But was never for once he sad. His mother he called his 'lighting guide' A person who never left her family's side During rains, she guided her kids with a lit stick To walk through muddy waters and not get sick.... 20 long years passed with turmoil Winds changed and so did the soil The lad was now well educated Nothing for his family was overrated! So many years hence the lad remembered Every passed hard day he encountered Journey to barren city was his homage But the 'lighting guide' is a fresh image! The lad had learnt it long ago Though days are easy now, hardships may come Fathers build house, mothers make home That's why he never had 'The Male ego!!'

I was woken up by a dream The only one and first of it's kind That of a pretty maiden With a handsome knight by the stream The maiden kept her distance Because the knight was betrothed Even when there was chance When on a stallion he roded She walked to the stream Her hands she wanted to cleanse When firm fingers grasped her palm Making her loose her sense It was the knight...oh why was he there He didnt reply to her curious stare Unleash your clasp she tried through actions But it didnt yield fruitful reactions Shaking from the dream I woke without the sense of day or night Thinking of the maiden by the stream Because rules she was trying to follow Even if she wanted the knight She knew Even though the clasp was from him, not her The betrothed of another damsel The world will always blame not him, but her For a paltry price, her innocent heart Was going to sell!!

The drizzling sound of first rain The pure smell of earth Things that tend to keep me sane Even in these times of dearth!! The setting sun in the blue-black space The saddening sky in its greyish hue Every drop of blue that falls on my face Is a reminder OF HOW FAR I AM FROM YOU!!

It’s been almost 2 months since I have settled in the beautiful city of Mangalore – the once unfamiliar city feels more like a ‘new home’ now, the people who seemed “foreigners” before are now more welcoming – the language barrier doesn’t seem like a problem anymore and I am also making an effort to learn Kannada for basic communication! However, one thing or rather culture of this place seemed a bit disturbing to me – the look of horror that is reflected in the people’s faces when they come to know that I am a 28 year old unmarried and “working” woman. What I realized here is that unlike North India or maybe unlike Assam, women’s education is not well promoted here. Though Mangalore is very near to Kerela, the state having 100% literacy rate in the country, literacy here is sort of limited only to men probably! Another thing which I had observed is that no sooner girls reach their teens, they are hooked up for marriage. And it is not that they are allowed to complete thei...

I was 18 years old when I moved out of my hometown, Guwahati for a hostel life in Delhi. That was July 2009! And now with the successful achievement of doctorate in 2019, I have completed 10 years of hostel life. With each hostel, I had gathered new experiences and made many new friends – some of whom are still in contact with me – and learnt many different things about different places of India. Like every other PhD student (and losing my father in between), I too was faced with the dilemma of whether I should continue with further research and move abroad or look for job in India. I believe that everything happens    for a reason – we just need to seek what that reason is! Though I had got a postdoctoral position in one of the “white collar” institutions of India, NCBS Bengaluru, I decided to join a teaching job in another city of Karnataka, Mangalore. After a tiring and SOLITARY journey of almost 7 hours (with 2 flight halts in between) from Guwahati, I landed in this ...

A very common question that we are asked as kids or perhaps that we too ask kids is “What do you want to be when you grow up?” As a child, I used to be very happy when I was asked this; it seemed more of a flaunting my wish to be a doctor or a teacher or something else (which changed from time to time of course!). The deeper implications of this question never occurred to me at that time. But now if I think deeply, I just wonder “does growing up stop at an age or rather after attaining a certain degree or getting a particular job do we stop growing up?”   It took some time to realize that the definition of a grown up is specific to each individual. My house has a very strong wrought iron gate and it almost impossible for me to pull it shut. A 3-year old boy in my family saw me (a 28 year old doctorate) one day, tugging hard at the gate, in a vain but desperate attempt to close it. He came upto me and said “You will be able to do it when you grow up, not now.” I just came t...